Holiday Guide
Gifts for your Bordeline Alcoholic Loudmouth Uncle
Ana Benaroya
Published: November 14, 2012
Bunny Yeager’s Darkroom, by Petra Mason ($60, Rizzoli) This book of classic pin-up photos is the ideal gift for your slightly louche uncle. Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, (410) 662-4444, atomicbooks.com
Mini cocktail shaker ($11) Remember when your uncle was drunk enough to think he was James Bond and insisted that his martinis be shaken, not stirred? This is what he was subconsciously asking you for. Sixteen Tons,1100 W. 36th St., (410) 554-0101, shop16tons.com.
Nude art mug ($12) If you have a hard time getting your uncle to switch from the sauce to some coffee so you can get him out the door, this mug might do the trick. Heat makes these fetching figures from classic art bare all. BMA store, Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1844, shopartbma.org
Beef jerky ($2 per ounce) Everybody loves beef jerky. But instead of stopping by the 7-Eleven for a Slim Jim (which looks tacky no matter what), get some locally made truly delicious meat snacks. Mobtown Meat Snacks, mobtownmeatsnacks.com
In God We Trust flask ($50) Flasks make it easy to tipple wherever you are. Go with the hand-engraved message for an extra $10 to make each secret swallow personal. Hunting Ground, 3649 Falls Road, (410) 243-0789, shophuntingground.com
Dragontail vegan whip ($65) Last time you saw him, old unc told you about his new 20-year-old vegan girlfriend who likes to spank him. TMFI? Sure, but show him you listen with this whip made of recycled bike tires. Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632, sugartheshop.com
Gentlemen’s Guide to Cocktails ($17.95) Your uncle might not be a gentleman, but he sure loves cocktails. BMA store, Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1844, shopartbma.org
Pin-up coasters ($8) When he puts his Dewar’s on this noirish coaster, your uncle will starting humming “My Favorite Things.” 9th Life, 833 W. 36th St., (410) 534-9999, 9th-life.com.
Harvy Skull-top cane ($59) A bit dandy-ish, sure, but also badass. Style with the potential for a good bludgeoning. Hats in the Belfry, 813 S. Broadway, (410) 342-7480, hatsinthebelfry.com
Vintage Playboy glass ($10) Almost as shapely as the models in the mag. 9th Life, 833 W. 36th St., (410) 534-9999, 9th-life.com.
Merry F***in’ Christmas ($12) Dennis Leary’s fucking classic for the man who can’t quit saying “fuck” around your kids. Ukazoo Books, 730 Dulaney Valley Road, Towson, (410) 832-2665, ukazoo.com/blog
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