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Holiday Guide

Gifts for the Sometimes-annoying love of your life

Photo: Ana Benaroya, License: N/A

Ana Benaroya


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Kidrobot Smorkin’ Labbit leather daddy edition ($75) This strangely lovable Frank Kozick creation might just be the perfect hint at your leather-daddy desires. Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, (410) 662-4444, atomicbooks.com

 

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Red silk corset ($78) Classy(ish) and classic. Bottom Drawer, 1001-A W. 36th St., (410) 783-8998, thebottomdrawerboutique.com

 

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Gy2 cotton underwear ($20) Tired of those saggy, old skid-marked boxers that do nothing for your man’s package? Bottom Drawer, 1001-A W. 36th St., (410) 783-8998, thebottomdrawerboutique.com

 

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Kehinde Wiley monograph ($65) Kehinde Wiley is famed for his realistic portraits of African-Americans in front of decorative backgrounds. You can see it on the coffee table, can’t you? Think of it as a gift you can enjoy too. BMA store, Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1844, shopartbma.org

 

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We-Vibe 3 ($150) This remote-controlled vibrator comes with a sleek carrying case that doubles as a charger. If we didn’t know better, we’d think it was Apple’s new iVibe. But “we” makes for a better time. Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632, sugartheshop.com

 

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Njoy Eleven ($300) This massive dong must weigh 10 pounds. If it’s too much for your lover, he or she can always use it as a weapon. Fucker could kill someone. Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632, sugartheshop.com
 

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Exotic Fields bath oil ($20 for 8 oz.) Everybody loves a good-smelling love. Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632, sugartheshop.com

Sea Grape massage oil candle ($15) The wax makes a great massage oil. Twofer. Sugar, 927 W. 36th St., (410) 467-2632, sugartheshop.com

 

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All On sculpture ($625) This sculpture by local artist Donald Edwards is somehow both adventurous and adorable. Perfect for your joint art collection. Jordan Faye Contemporary, 823 Park Ave., (410) 955-1547, jordanfayecontemporary.com

 

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Body Butter ($20) Be smooth. Katwalk Boutique, 1709 Aliceanna St., (410) 669-0600

 

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14-karat white-gold necklace set with diamonds weighing .89 carats and one Tahitian pearl ($5,500) Gentlemen, you will say that this is because you really love her and she is the woman you always dreamed of. And it may be true, but everyone else will wonder how you fucked up bad enough to drop this kind of dough. Let ’em wonder. Misha and Co., 10751 Falls Road, Suite 119, Lutherville, (443) 275-1321, mishaandco.com

 

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Lionette Paluma Earrings ($155) Show her how much you love her ears. Fresh! Boutique, 10749 Falls Road, Lutherville, (443) 901-0097, freshbaltimore.com

 

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Christopher Schafer handmade silk tie ($75) Because he’d look great in it, but would never buy it himself. Christopher Schafer Clothier, 1400 Aliceanna St., (410) 404-5131, christopherschafer.com

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