If you can’t keep your wits about you, then get a beer
Published: August 21, 2013
Naturally, during your first year away from home, you’ll want to go out. If you decide to forgo all the awesomeness that Baltimore has to offer and you end up at a frat, there are some basics you should know before going out. (Really, there are other, better ways to spend your time, but we get it, rite-of-passage, freshman year, and all that jazz.)
First, the going-out outfit: frat shoes (closed-toed shoes that you don’t mind getting dirty—very dirty because frat floors are disgusting!), a jacket (if it’s cold enough that you need a jacket, bring a cheap one you don’t mind leaving in strange places with strange people and potentially getting stolen)—but remember it gets hot in those basements, so stick to summer clothing. After you’re done with your going-out pregame, around 11:30 p.m., grab your keys, college ID, emergency (drunk food) money, and phone, and skip on down to your choice of frat. Once there, find a place to stash your jacket and head on over to the bar. If you’re getting a mixed drink from one of the classy Gatorade coolers and there’s a brother you know at the bar, get the drink from him! No one wants to be roofied, so don’t be careless. If you can’t keep your wits about you, then get a beer, mmmm Keystone (yo, bros, go with Bohs).
If beer is what you’re drinking, grab a partner and go play some pong. Before you start, make sure you know the house rules (know how many re-racks you get and watch those elbows). Dance a little, but watch out for creepy guys coming up behind you, and don’t get separated from the people you came with. It’s never a good idea to walk home alone drunk. Also, not cool to ditch friends when you go out with them (unless, of course, you let them know that you found someone else to go home with).