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The top ten reasons male porn stars are like Anne Rice vampires

My Dearest Anne Rice:

I wish I could quote one of your popular characters and say, “I trust I need no introduction,” but unless you have a penchant for purveying pornography, I doubt you will recognize me. (Then again, you do write erotic fiction, so who knows?) Anyway, what brings me to you? Well, I am a huge fan of your Vampire Chronicles and I would like to submit to you:

THE TOP TEN REASONS MALE PORN STARS ARE LIKE ANNE RICE VAMPIRES

1. We are both, in a manner of speaking, immortal. Now, will my flesh (living or undead) forever exist in these ever-changing lands? Unfortunately, no. However, if you think about it, my videos will. I mean, even if there was a nuclear holocaust, in some underground bunker there will be porn for the troops to watch, and I’m betting at least one of my 1,400-plus scenes will be in that database. So for as long as a visual record of me copulating that day exists in some form or another and gets watched somewhere, sometime in the world, I am, in a sense, alive and also, in a sense then, not unlike your romantic, undead protagonists.

2. Most budding adult female starlets come and go while we male porn stars tend to have much longer careers, which means that much like your ageless vampires, we male porn stars watch wave after wave of new girls, new lovers, new friends appear, burst brilliantly ablaze and then flame out (or fade away) and disappear as if they never were (save for the digital record). This creates a simultaneous longing and disconnect, again, not unlike that experienced by your dear bloodsuckers.

3. For the most part, only the young and attractive are selected as members to enter our most exclusive club (and there are strict laws about being too young to be made into one of us, with extreme penalties for all involved if it happens).

4. We both bring ecstasy to those we “embrace.” I know you have described the human orgasm as a thing not really even comparable to the overwhelming sensation of your vampires’ “dark kiss,” but if there was something, anything, that came in second, then I think some of my more-than-satisfied female sex-scene partners would testify on a stack of Bibles written by Jesus himself that the screaming orgasm I had just given them could be it.

5. There are few of us, both vampires and male porn stars. And I’m talking about real stars of the industry and not just some clown with a webcam and PayPal account. When I was first “made” back in 1998, there were maybe less than 100 of us male porn stars worldwide, and in extended parallel, since we are all competing for the same work (and the same pussy), the end result means we are all very competitive, solitary creatures, and covens are rare, if nonexistent, and those that do exist are always short-lived. Sound familiar?

6. We both are all total clothes-horse dandies just like your beloved vampire, Lestat. We revel in the fashions of the current age. You should see our awards shows! You’ve never witnessed a bigger gaggle of sexually preening peacocks! And again, just like your characters, the older porn stars always tend to dress with a little nod toward the previous generation, the fashions they identify with when they were first made.

7. We both have fans who offer themselves up to us. Just like Lestat says he can’t walk down the street without someone baring their jugular to him and yelling, “Right here, Lestat!” Similarly, I can’t read my daily messages without at least someone, somewhere in the world, describing, in explicit detail, all the carnal activities they would like to perform upon my person (or vice versa).

8. We both live our lives as outsiders of society. We are the infamous. We are the celebrated scorned. This similarity cuts deep.

9. There is a fear of losing oneself to the desire, to the lust, being crazed by it, this Satyriasis, as it is called. If we lose ourselves to it, we can become like your engorged vampire, Azim, in his temple, endlessly drinking, forever consumed in our consuming.

10. And here’s where it gets darkest. We both end the same. Just as your vampires face the ennui of the endless cycle of the ages, so, too, do we male porn stars, with the endless cycle of our scenes (how would you feel after girl 1,200?). And in these endless cycles, there is a solitude and a loneliness that in embracing so many we may never allow ourselves to truly embrace any. And when faced with this ennui (and the fact that, like your vampires, Anne—believe it or not—many of us do wrestle with God and the morality of what it is that we do, that which we must do, what is in our nature), ultimately, many male porn stars—again like your vampires—choose one of two options: We either “go into the ground,” which for us means we give up our porn names and go back to being anonymous (as best as we can anyway), moving from VIP treatment in the hottest clubs of Hollywood and Las Vegas back to Smalltown, USA, where we wait in line at Walmart with everybody else. We give it all up, the glitz, the sex, the money, the travel, the beautiful things, or. . .

We throw ourselves onto the pyre. Just like your old, world-weary vampires.
Unfortunately, there are far, far too many tragic accounts of my porn brethren who have committed suicide.
Quite a list in common, eh, Anne?
With much love, admiration, and respect,

Kurt Lockwood

Write to Kurt at charmcitypornstar@citypaper.com and follow him on twitter @KurtlockwoodXXX.

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