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Charm City Porn Star

Three types of Male Porn Stars

The Pro knows that the better he makes his female XXX-scene partner look, the better it makes him look.

Here’s the companion piece to last week’s column, “The Five Types of Female Porn Stars,” and turnabout being fairplay, I present “The Three Types of Male Porn Stars.” Why only three? Well, the women outnumber us men in the adult biz by at least 10 to one, so they have more opportunity for diversity through sheer number. I’ve broken the guy categories into three sections: the Pro, the Bro, and the Damned-If-I-Know.

1. The Pro

Pro, is, of course, short for Professional, and that’s exactly what it means in the jizz biz as well. A guy who is a Pro in addition to all the basics—he has his current IDs, current industry-approved STD test, great personal hygiene, he’s respectful to the girls and crew, shows up on time (mostly, lol), always “gets wood” when it’s that magic time, and has no problem “popping” at the appropriate climax of the scene. The Pro can lead the scene like an erotic waltz without the director ever having to say a word, the Pro has an internal clock from experience that tells him when it’s time to switch positions automatically, and most importantly, how to coax, woo, and ravish the hottest sexual performance out of even the shyest or inexperienced of female co-stars. The Pro knows that the better he makes his female XXX-scene partner look, the better it makes him look. Now, one would think that the Pros, who are the top guys in the business, would be the biggest bodybuilder guys with the biggest horsecocks and faces made for GQ. Not so. Though there are some who definitely fill this stereotype, today there is a very wide variety of male performers, and with the popularity of MILF/young-guy porn, there are guys at the top of the biz who look like skinny guys who never set foot in a gym a day in their life. Similarly, there are guys who once had ripped bodies but success has them teetering on their “Fat Elvis” stage, where gorging themselves on an overload of pussy and money has led to kingly excess and smug self-neglect.

Being that we men in straight porn are, by and large, mainly seen as “necessary evils,” as the focus 95 percent of the time is on the female (rightly so), we aren’t so much praised and celebrated as we are rewarded with rehiring because of our consistency in never having any complaints about us from either our female co-stars or the crew. The Pro has won some awards, which the production companies would like to align themselves with; the Pro has probably done some directing himself and is also the rare male talent who actually earns a living solely as a “penis soldier,” no day jobs, has been paid to travel around the world to shoot XXX, and actually has fans of his own that will buy product and move units for the producer. This is THE ONLY category of male performer that receives any kind of special treatment—meaning, in some cases, the Top Pros can possibly get to choose what time they show up on set and can possibly even have approval over their female scene partner’s casting. And finally, the Pro has longevity to his career because he is good at what he does and provides a service with a high level of performance that is above and beyond and therefore is paid more per scene than the subsequent categories. And he’s worth every penny.

2. The Bro

There’s nothing wrong with the Bro, he just hasn’t won any awards and is not as well known or as highly regarded as the Pro, but he’s still professional as far as IDs and STD tests and punctuality and whatnot. All Pros were Bros once. A Bro can either be a guy looking to work his way up, or it could be a guy who was considered a Pro but for various poor behavior reasons has been demoted. Bros do not make their livings solely from performing and many have girlfriends/wives who are also porn performers and without whom these guys wouldn’t be able to stick around for very long on their own. The Bro is called “the Bro” because that’s what we male performers say when we recommend a new guy. For example, say a Pro has an emergency and has to cancel a scene, someone suggests a different male, the first questions the director asks are, “Yeah? Is he any good? Is he a Bro?” Douchey, I know. But “Bro” in pornspeak means, yeah, he knows what he’s doing, he may or may not have “wood issues,” his body and looks might be so-so, and no way is he a “Pro,” but will he do as a less-expensive-fill-in guy-to-save-the-scene in an emergency? Yeah. Their motto could be: Bros, no frills but they get the job done.

3. The Damned-If-I-Know

This category is exactly as described. They’re male performers who you see one time somewhere on some set and then never see again. Or those anonymous goons who do all that gang-bang and bukkake stuff. Or sometimes this is the boyfriend of some new girl who says she will only do a sex scene if she can work with him and soon after, they both quit the biz. These guys don’t know what they are doing scene-wise, they have wood or premature-ejaculation issues constantly, often times they look like crap and have no business being naked, having sex on camera. However, it’s the rare production company who can afford an entire movie filled with top guys, so the dudes in this category serve a necessary function in this crazy porn world.

Write to Kurt at charmcitypornstar@citypaper.com and follow him on twitter @KurtlockwoodXXX.

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