Published: June 12, 2013
The Baltimore Sun is gonna get bought or sold or something, since it is part of the bankrupted Tribune Media whatever of newspapers, and they (and you know who They are) keep saying somebody has to buy the whole thing, all the papers, which means if you want to buy just one paper in the Tribune Media thing, you also have to buy all these papers on a list I found on the Internet, I forget where, maybe the Wikipedia:
Los Angeles Times
The Baltimore Sun
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
The Hartford Courant
The Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.)
Daily Press (Newport News, Va.)
El Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.)
El Sentinel del Sur de la Florida
Huntington Beach Independent
That’s a lotta newspapers, man! And they are all part of a bankruptcy. I don’t really have a head for the Big Business, but how much Business sense does it make to buy all those papers and keep ’em the way they are, you know?
Some of those papers are making a Profit, right? I mean, the Tribune Media is bankrupted, but that doesn’t mean every single little piece of the Tribune is broke, so there are probably some money-making nuggets of gold in there, along with probably a lot more of the non-golden nuggets, the stinky kind?
Hey, if you looked at that list of newspapers, which ones would you keep?
I would most def keep Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune, and I would keep all the Spanish-language papers like Hoy because it would force me to start doing that “Learn Spanish” DVD that I got for Xmas and haven’t done anything with because I gotta get more than “Buenos tardes, dos tacos de carnitas con todo, por favor” into my Spanish skills, and since I live in Baltimore, I would totally keep Baltimore Sun, but I heard Rupert Murdoch, who owns a bunch of famous newspapers all over the planet, only wants the Los Angeles chunk of Tribune, which then might or might not mean he’d keep all the little extra papers like Burbank Leader and Pasadena Sun and stuff, but he’d probably get rid of Baltimore Sun, eh?
That means somebody else would buy Baltimore Sun from Rupert Murdoch, and all I know about newspapers is you gotta be like Charles Foster Kane in the Major Motion Picture Citizen Kane (1941), who, with respect to the newspaper he runs, has this famous movie-business quotable I found on the IMDb.com:
charles foster kane: You’re right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars *next* year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I’ll have to close this place in . . . 60 years.
I kinda think that’s what it takes to be in the Newspaper Business right now, and even though I am but an itty-bitty tooth in a gear in the (still) giant machine of Newspaper, I think whoever and/or whatever buys a whole Media Thing like Tribune or a possibly-unattractive slice of it, right here in Baltimore, will need to have the kind of dough to take years and years of losing money, years of bailing and bailing the bilge water outta the sinking ship, until they can get it doing some other nautical term for doing well enough to put more reporters on the street reportering and newsgathering and being the part of the Government that really isn’t part of the Government because it gets to say whatever the fuck it wants. America!
And another thing, people are getting their knickers all in a twist about these Koch Brothers, who are katrillionaires and own many things and companies, and some would say people (corporations), and how the Brothers Koch (pronounced as in “cola”) are Right-Wing guys who want to Control America so they (The Bros) can make money and be Evil and stuff, want to buy the Tribune Media business, the newspapers, so they can be Right-Wingy in print, and change Public Thought, and I say, fine, those guys are bada-ba-zillionaires, and they would be fine owners of Baltimore Sun, because this Freedom of the Press thing cuts in All Directions, man, you make a Press, own a Press, reach into that jar you have fulla coins for the Coinstar® and go out and buy a Press, you have Freedom of it. America.
If the Kochs buy Baltimore Sun, they will be job providers and all kindsa stuff and then maybe some Left-Wingers with lots of bank will open up a competing paper. It’s a win-win!
Meanwhile, I have a phone and I pay Verizon money to connect to the Internet and phone calls and whatever, pictures of other people’s food, and people who are pissed about the Government looking at their phone should quit Verizon. I am gonna stay on air in hopes there is a class-action lawsuit or something so maybe I can get some free Verizon, you know? You thought the Government doesn’t look at Everything Everywhere without telling you? Don’t you read the fucking newspaper?
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