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Power Rankings

Baltimore City Power Rankings

Photo: Illustrations by Alex Fine, License: N/A

Illustrations by Alex Fine


1 Baltimore TV industry

Our burgeoning reputation as a location for the television industry got a boost with this week’s Emmy Awards show, where House of Cards won big and Veep’s Julia Louis-Dreyfus gave a shoutout to the “crew in Baltimore.” And last week Jody Foster was in town to direct an episode of House of Cards, giving us even more chances for some superstar crushes.

2 Ravens

The Purple and Pewter came back from the opening-night debacle against the Denver Broncos by kicking some Texas ass, with a 30-9 victory. Not only did the drubbing shut up some Ravens naysayers, it came just as punk-ass Texas governor Rick Perry was running his mouth on local radio about how Texas is better than Maryland.

3 Grand Prix

A couple weeks ago, when the city announced it couldn’t host the Grand Prix for the next two years because of an American Legion convention and a college football game, BCPR figured Il Mayore was looking for any excuse to put the pitiful race out of its misery. This week, SRB acknowledged that her race is probably a goner for good. But that hasn’t stopped city officials from looking for another big stupid event to take its place. BCPR says they ought to focus on what we already have and pour a bit of that money into Scapescape on Labor Day weekend.

4 Anthony Batts

Baltimore City Police Commissioner Batts has been on the job for a year now, and during his tenure we’ve seen a rise in the homicide rate, plus what is gearing up to be the first rise in nonfatal shootings in the last six years. Batts brought his Oakland mindset and blamed everything on gangs, but has so far not been very effective at combating them. In order to brighten his department’s tarnished reputation, it seems that the department has even taken to making anyone whom they can arrest within the next hour “Public Enemy Number One.”

5 Orioles

At four and a half games back from a Wild Card spot at press time, the Birds ain’t gonna see any postseason play. All of this, despite having the best hitter in the league, the best defense (beating a 100-year-old record for fielding), and one of the best coaches. Still, after what most of the last decade looked for Baltimore baseball, we can live with this kind of disappointment. For now.


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