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Power Rankings

Baltimore City Power Rankings

Photo: Illustrations by Alex Fine, License: N/A

Illustrations by Alex Fine


 

1 Joe Flacco

Joe Cool is hot: The Ravens’ elite QB signed a six-year deal worth more than $120 million, making him the highest paid player ever in the NFL—an organization not known for shrimpy paychecks. With one year of that salary, Flacco could single-handedly save the Poe House from oblivion 236 times over. Of course, he’d only need to do it once to become an even bigger Baltimore hero.

2 State Senate

The smaller half of the state legislature passed a gun-control bill even stronger than what many advocates hoped, including a ban on assault weapons and required fingerprinting for new handgun owners. Of course, opponents are lining up to declare the common-sense proposals state-sponsored fascism in House of Delegates hearings, but BCPR hopes they’ll see through the gunsmoke and mirrors.

3 Hunger

According to a new survey, about one in six Marylanders did not have money to buy the food they needed in 2012. Income inequality, high unemployment, and shrinking social-service programs are all cited as factors. Starting March 10, Baltimoreans can be part of the solution, leaving food items by the mailbox for letter carriers to pick up as part of the Harvest for the Hungry food campaign. Doubt Flacco can fix this one too.

4 City Council

Baltimore citizens may not soon forget the day their elected leaders so clearly sided with a corporate entity over them. In a 3-1 vote, the council finance committee approved a bill that would exempt Ticketmaster from a recently upheld city ordinance that bars the rest of us from charging more than 50 cents in tickets fees. The corporate giant, the city says, can continue to charge unlimited fees. And we can continue to hold them in unlimited contempt.

5 Park Elementary

Administrators at the Anne Arundel County school taught kids what idiots look like when they suspended a second-grader for—we shit you not—eating his Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun. The child claims he was trying to make a mountain shape, but his poor art skills earned him a two-day school holiday. Maybe if he had registered the pastry and been fingerprinted, this whole ugly incident could’ve been avoided.

 

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