Baltimore City Power Rankings

1 Ravens

It’s been glorious watching our gridiron heroes hog the national spotlight, with Kenan Thompson playing Ray Lewis on Saturday Night Live and Ravens jerseys selling like crazy across the country (still no run on Charles Cohen’s “Winning Ugly” shirts though). As caravans of locals head south for the big game, those of us left behind can only follow along with our Super Play-at-Home Bowl XLVII and scream until we pass out, to hibernate until the O’s opening day: GO RAVENS!

2 Michael Bloomberg

Hizzoner, reportedly a C-student before his days as a JHU Blue Jay shaped him into the technocrat we see before us today, continues to pour his fortune into his alma mater. The New York City mayor’s just-announced gift of $350 million puts his total giving to the school at $1.1 billion—according to the school, the most one individual has ever given to a university. The money’s slated to be used for scholarships and new programs, but BCPR would prefer research into using drones to win lacrosse games.

3 Hopkins

BCPR wonders if Bloomberg reads City Paper and, if so, given his leadership on gun control, if he might attach any strings to his latest gift. This week’s cover story (page 14) sheds light on the school’s Applied Physics Lab, which critics say uses up to 90 percent of its billion-dollar budget to develop and further the U.S. military’s drone program—and not for lacrosse games.

4 Rawlings-Blake

Publicly, Il Mayore has been a veritable blur of purple-and-black, supporting the Ravens in a shouty send-off at the harbor before heading to New Orleans to use those Super Bowl tickets she’s no doubt been scrimping and saving for. But before she left town, City Hall goons arrested and jailed one of her fiercest critics, Kim Trueheart, after the activist loudly criticized the administration’s policies, and banned Trueheart from City Hall without explanation. Go Ravens?

5 State Police