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Power Rankings

Baltimore City Power Rankings

Photo: Illustrations by Alex Fine, License: N/A

Illustrations by Alex Fine


1 Sailabration

Economic impact study finds that the June event, which marked the beginning of a two-year celebration of the bicentennial of the War of 1812, attracted 1.5 million people and had an $166 million economic impact on the city—compared to last year’s Grand Prix, which had a $47 million impact. A similar event is planned to wrap up the bicentennial in 2014, but BCPR thinks we should scrap the dumb cars and let the Blue Angels and tall ships have at it once or twice a month.

2 Anthony Batts

The new Baltimore City Police commish, confirmed without opposition, raises eyebrows with blunt talk about the Black Guerrilla Family’s role in the city’s murder wave this summer—the kind of shoptalk BPD likes to keep out of the public eye. The ex-Oakland top cop then announces his intent to focus not just on “bad guys with guns,” as his predecessor used to say, but also burglaries, car break-ins, and other everyday, city-wide crimes. BCPR worries such talk is just lip service, but will await Batts’ turn at bat.

3 Conaways

Papa Bear Frank, the circuit court clerk, announces class-action lawsuit against city over overcharges in the water bills that, he says, cost some people their homes. It’s a good cause—still think city doesn’t need regular audits, Il Mayore?—even if he’s only doing it to keep his name in the papers. Meanwhile, a state audit of Mama Bear Mary, the register of wills, found loose time-keeping, curiously generous pay to part-time janitors, and an unnamed supervisor whose fudged SS number precluded repayment of the $100,000 restitution he owes on a felony conviction. All hail Baltimore’s royally fucked-up first family of city government!


Newly bugged buses bug the heck out of privacy experts and anybody who read 1984, but the city insists the measure has already helped prevent crimes and track down wrongdoers. Besides, they’re called “public” buses for a reason, right? Next thing you know, they’ll be scanning our e-mail and looking at us naked at airports. Oh, right. Nevermind.

5 Ravens

The once-vaunted defense gets old and hurty, as Lardarius Webb and Ray Lewis have to sit and Ed Reed and Haloti Ngata play at less than 100 percent in Ravens’ pathetic 43-13 loss to the Texans. So what’s wrong with the self-described “Best Quarterback in the NFL,” Joe Flacco? BCPR is getting tired of inconsistent team leader’s choking symptoms in tough games. Medic!

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