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Power Rankings

Baltimore City Power Rankings

Photo: Illustrations by Alex Fine, License: N/A

Illustrations by Alex Fine


1 Orioles

At press time, the O’s had clinched their first playoff berth since 1997 and were still battling the Stankees for the AL East title. In a season that seems to keep topping itself in the thrill department, we’ve dispensed with our Bawlmer-bred pessimism and are ready to root the Birds all the way to a World Championship. Believe it or not, your Baltimore Orioles are the best team in baseball right now. Woo-hoo!

2 Equality

New polls suggest a surge in support for the same-sex marriage ballot question in Maryland. It could have something to do with advocacy by the NAACP, Al Sharpton, or the countless celebrities, politicians, and religious leaders who have spoken out, but we’re betting it’s at least partially due to the social media storm created by Baltimore County Del. Emmett C. Burns’ letter to the Ravens, insisting that linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo cease his advocacy, and the torrid, genius response by Vikings punter Chris Kluwe. Nothing wins like common sense—common sense and lots and lots of profanity.

3 Grand Prix

Organizers Race On announced this week that they would return to run the Grand Prix of Baltimore next year and aim to “lose less” money than they did this year. Can they also aim to support local businesses, not destroy more infrastructure, and, for those of us who gave the race a try (or two!) the last couple years, can they please aim to make their sport less horrifically boring? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoom.

4 Martin O’Malley

Our governor (at least until the 2016 Iowa caucuses) returned to his recurring slot on the Sunday-morning talk shows (CNN’s State of the Union this time), extolling the president’s virtues while slamming the national GOP agenda as loudly as possible. At home, he quietly moved forward with plans to build a youth jail in the city over the objections of activists who say the funds should be spent on schools. You can almost hear Gov retort, “Hey, that’s what all the casinos are for! Ka-ching!”



5 Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

Il Mayore continues to demonstrate her my-way-or-the-highway method of governance, first slamming City Councilman Jim Kraft (D-1st District) for informing his constituents about her administration’s plans to pave over part of Patterson Park in order to create a parking lot for a nursing home (sparking outrage, obvs); then an inspector general looking into her administration’s controversial handling of a telecommunications contract found her officials lying to city officials and wasting money. At least the trains run on time! Oh, wait, no, they don’t.

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