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Season of the Witch

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Season of the Witch

Directed by Dominic Sena

If you haven’t seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Gladiator and 300 and at least one of those Lord of the Rings joints and don’t watch Sons of Anarchy on television, then you might have a shot at not letting this movie crush your spirit. It’s not even like it’s bad enough to goof on, it’s just very not good, although there are some cool castles and scenes of European valleys and mountains and stuff and it’s always great to see Christopher Lee, even the way he looks here, all Black Plague-y as Cardinal D’Ambroise, a big shot in the church who extorts our Crusade-deserting heroes Behmen and Feslon (Nicolas Cage, with pretty good hair going on, and a looking-like-he-just-changed out-of-biker-leathers Ron Perlman, respectively) into transporting a witch (Claire Foy as “The Girl”) to some other castle so she can be given a fair trial before they burn her. There are zombie-demon monks, witches, books, wolves that have to turn into worse-looking wolves before they attack, and some great supporting actors all speaking in different accents, including Messrs. Cage and Perlman, who play it for laughs with modern-speak and then get all serious and “ye olde” with it, but this is not their fault, it’s just a bad movie.

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