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Green Lantern

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Green Lantern

Directed by Martin Campbell

This is one of the most comic book-y comic-book movies ever (or until next week in this, the Summer of Comic Book Movies), about a hotshot test pilot who is given a magic ring by the police of the universe so he can be a superhero in the Green Lanterns, which is the thing they use to charge up their iPods and stuff—c’mon, you either know or you don’t care, there is no try. Weirdly stuffed-animal/Ewok-looking-cute-faced Ryan Reynolds fights hard to have a good time as fearless jet jockey Hal Jordan, flying his six-pack around in a green wetsuit, but there’s too much goopy crap about being fearful of fear, which adds about 20 minutes of baggage that take away from the fun special effects of evil and zillions of Green Lanterns from all over getting together for a convention. And most importantly this means less screen time for Peter Sarsgaard, who gets the best role, Hector Hammond—a nebbish scientist with daddy issues who can’t measure up to player Hal Jordan when it comes to getting some smush with Blake Lively, another jet pilot with a head for business and a body for tight skirts or whatever. And Mr. Sarsgaard totally Mad Scientist kills it and all the scenery around him in the best way possible, so this is worth it just for him—but not for the 3D, which is nothing special, effects-wise. Also bad for good is a very magenta Mark Strong as Sinestro, yeah don’t spoiler-alert think on that name too hard, OK? The Green Mile’s Michael Clarke Duncan (don’t start trying to connect the colors, that way madness lies) and Geoffrey fucking Rush throw their voices through some animated aliens along with Angela Bassett and Tim Robbins stooping down in class for some of that long green.

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