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Drive Angry

Photo: , License: N/A, Created: 2010:05:05 22:35:31

Drive Angry

Directed by Patrick Lussier

If you can’t take a movie with gore and tits and ass and mayhem and cars and shit that blows up real good and naked bitch-slapping and crude but effective dialogue and guns and bigger guns and cigarettes and ass-whuppings and men hitting women and women hitting men and women hitting women and more guns and driving and fucking and stabbing and electrocuting and beer and skulls and ignorance and punching and kicking and getting beat on with a leg bone and Canadian classic-rock music cues and anger and car crashes (and not the lame ones where you can almost see the ramp) and people getting shot in the head and the arm and the chest and the leg and Good vs. Evil and Evil vs. More Evil and people being mean to babies, then stay home, because the first 45 minutes of this steaming slop bucket of fresh-ground movie will make you poop in your popcorn bag. This flick tries really hard to be almost all 100 percent Good Parts, with Everything Left In and Nothing Left Out, and Billy Burke, Amber Heard, and freaky-ass William Fichtner as the Accountant chew on all the scenery and spit it in your face, in three-fucking-dee, man, the first Major Motion Picture since Avatar where the 3D gets rogered roundly and unloads in a satisfying climax in your general direction. Exactly. Meanwhile, we probably shoulda started with Nicolas Cage, in terms of you staying home, and interestingly enough, the car chases are kinda boring and they slow the flick down, so we hope they can fix that in the sequel, or maybe switch to powerboats, fuck yeah, we can’t wait to see that at the drive-in.

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