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The only way to get through college is with coffee

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This is our College Guide, and the only way to get through college is with coffee. Here at Baltimore’s Most Over-Caffeinated Alt-Weekly, we like to drink somewhere close to a couple pots of coffee a day—each. But that gets harder in the summertime, when it is so damned hot outside. Even when it is nice and temperate, as the last few weeks have been, you still don’t want something hot in the middle of the day—so that sends some of us down to the coffee shop to buy an iced coffee. But you’ve read all that stuff about how journalist ranked below lumberjack in some job-ranking poll this year. So we can’t exactly afford to spend $48 per day to get our fix, and our insurance no longer covers Adderall. We suppose, as students, you have ample sources of Adderall, but you might still need the iced coffee, and we are here to help.

That’s because we’ve become experts in brewing our own iced coffee. Some of us (an investigative reporter who shall not be named) simply takes his leftover coffee and dumps some ice in it. But, I don’t have any leftover morning coffee. And while that works in a pinch, it can leave that burnt bitter taste that makes even the best coffee taste like rotten, burnt Starbucks.

So I’ve become a zealot of the cold brew. It is easy, cheap, and delicious. I used to do it the New Orleans way, which is also to say the hard way (I learned this from a recipe somewhere that I’ve long since lost—apologies to its author). I would take an entire can of Cafe Du Monde chicory coffee and pour it in a metal mixing bowl and fill it with cold water and put it in the fridge for a couple days. Then, using a very fine strainer (or pantyhose), I would get most of the grounds out and have a big old jar full of super-strong cold-brewed goodness that was almost more like a syrup. And indeed, that is the purpose: You keep it in the jar and mix it with milk or with water. Except I really liked it undiluted (I also strongly believe that when a person starts drinking alcohol, he or she should stop drinking milk, forever.)

But all of that is a little complicated and we don’t have enough room in our fridge for the big bowl anymore (what with all the Boh). You can just take a regular old French press, put in anywhere from four to eight scoops of coffee (I like to use Bustelo brand coffee for this), add some water, put it in your fridge unpressed and forget about it overnight. Take it out, press it, and and you have a French press full of iced coffee to get you through the next afternoon’s class or workday doldrums. And I bet if you crushed up some Adderall and put it in there. . . wawaweewah!

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