Best Professional Kiss-Ass
Published: September 18, 2013
We thank our lucky stars we don’t have a cheerleading hillbilly buffoon like Ken “Hawk” Harrelson (sorry, ChiSox fans) calling our games, but holy hell, we are sick of the sunshine and rainbows emanating from the ass of Orioles play-by-play man Jim Hunter. The longtime announcer manages to squeeze every. little. positive. detail. out of a game situation—even when, or perhaps especially when, it seems unwarranted—while simultaneously having his nose jammed up the sphincter of Orioles owner Peter Angelos. Golly gee, that was a great double play to end the second inning for the O’s because at least the top of the order will be up in the bottom of the third. Sure, we like hearing some positive statistics about the Birds and rooting for them to do well, but get that bent-over-backwards company-man shit out of the booth.