Federal Hill Beer Garden
Published: September 18, 2013
Federal Hill residents are finally fed up with the neighborhoodwide shit show of hammered-drunk yuppies that flood their streets every weekend, and this past year, they finally drew a line in the sand. The plan was for a new beer garden near Cross Street Market that would have added another 300 barstools and chairs for patrons to drink themselves into oblivion. From an economic standpoint, the new beer garden seemed like a good idea. That is, until you take into account the amount of vomit, urine, and girls sitting curbside screaming and crying into their cellphones that would surely be added to the landscape of one of our city’s oldest neighborhoods. The public outcry and a unanimous vote by the City Council to stop the project sealed the fate for the would-be beer garden, marking a small victory in the fight against drunk assholes. But alas, it is only a drop in the bucket!