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Baltimore Nightlife

Best Drunken Hook-up Bar

Mother’s Federal Hill Grille

1113 S. Charles St., (410) 244-8686,

Federal Hill is your sweet significant other who brings mom flowers on visits home for Christmas; Frat Hill is his/her obnoxious alter ego that gets your 15-year-old brother drunk to puking point at Thanksgiving dinner. Frat Hill lives in bars like Mother’s, bars whose atmosphere somehow brings out the beer-pounding, fist-pumping worst in those of us who have it and the drink-to-the-point-of-oblivion in those who don’t. Either way, you’re probably gonna end up with your face smooshed into someone else’s, which isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. Drink specials like $5 16-ounce Jeremiah Weed and lemonades, $7.50 pitchers of Miller Lite, and $11.99 42-ounce Monster Margaritas, plus an oh-so-special ambiance of radio music, flashing lights, and sweaty crowds you can barely fit through, make this place a makeout haven if we’ve ever seen one. Potential suitors, please don’t judge—we were in college once too.

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