Jim Meyer Archives
The Horror of Fatherhood
- Hard to Swallow
Sword swallowing is a lot like NASCAR: You wouldn’t be there if there weren’t a chance something could go horribly wrong.
- The Beard Knows
Markakis looks like he’s just been cast in a Wes Anderson movie. That’s the kind of hair that wins championships. You could hide a half-ton of Orioles magic in there, easy.
- Michael Sam, All-American
The NFL and our sporting culture in general is willing to make excuses for moral failings in the face of talent, but somehow it’s accepted that we overlook bravery in the face of bigotry.
- Ain’t the stove cold?
It is seriously hard to get excited for the season when the most interesting move the club has made was backing out of a botched bullpen signing.
- America’s Game
The Super Bowl—that fat, fantastic tick of a spectacle—is set to dig its massive, ad-bloated mandibles into nearly every inch of the American media’s goose-pimpled flesh
Crossing the Nerdicon
- The Sweet Spot
Barry Bonds hit 73 homeruns in 2001 and many credit the maple in his bats for his prodigious power, though the steroids may also have helped.
2013: Cult Status
- The Reluctant Naturalist
“How does it make you feel that I am going to teach him that the lion is the king of jungle and that the king of the oceans is Aquaman?”
- The Thriller in the Chiller
In the most ill-conceived celebration of all time, my cousin Marty high-fived me then punched me in the stomach.
Bikram? It Nearly Killed ‘im!
- Pilgrim’s Progress
Is there a turkey more worthy of plucking than Ben Roethlisberger?
- A Very Spitballin’ Holiday Gift Guide
Just because someone likes a gift doesn’t make it a good gift.
- Football Forever
I sat with City. I live closer to Poly, but I was parked way closer to the City side, so the choice was an easy one. I don’t think I’d have gone wrong either way, though.
Ravens-less to-do list
No Playoffs? There’s Always Titties
- Fire Mike Preston
Preston’s comment was insensitive, idiotic, and ignorant at best, spiteful and homophobic at worst.
- A History of Beer, Written While Drunk
If it weren’t for beer, Strange Brew would be only 11 minutes long and called Hamlet.
- Football Fantasy
Thursday came, and with it, my birthday. I’m 41 now; my 21st birthday will be able to buy beer next year.
- Was that Football?
Tight ends Ed “Iron Hands” Dickson and Dallas “Dallas Clark is Still Alive?” Clark looked like they were bucking for a pair of Bills’ game checks.
- Birds, Cooked
The Ray's fans sent the Orioles off with a dirge
played on vuvuzelas, a musical instrument designed
to recreate the so und of gro aning old plumbing.
- Things I Learned From Sports Radio
Radio show call in fans, come out of your mothers’ basements, sit in the sun, and maybe do a sun salutation or two (in yoga, mouth-breathing is encouraged, so you’ll fit right in).
- Sports and Recreation
Baltimore is the center of the sports universe. We’ve got the Super Bowl champion Ravens and the suddenly super Orioles, looking for consecutive playoff berths, not to mention the MISL champion Baltimore Blast, amazing prepschool and college lacrosse, and s
- Asskicking Art
There’s no mucking about with the broken BCS system, wondering what the Ukrainian judge was really thinking, or worrying that Vince McMahon rigged the whole thing
- Caw? caw!
Yeah, there’s reason for concern, but these are the Ravens, and Ozzie Newsome is still at the helm.
Pennant or bust
- The Ravens Have Arrived
The best pass rushers of his generation were like gnats on the windshield of a Mack Truck named Ogden.
- Film Review: Blackfish
Blackfish reveals the plight of orcas and SeaWorld employees
We are nerd, We are legion, We don’t know what vaginas look like
- For Alex, an Orioles Fan
Looking back, a bedraggled 26-year-old Deadhead and occasional Civil War reenactor may not have been the perfect father-figure.
- All-Star Season
This may sound like Sacrilege, but if Manny Machado keeps laying the leather like he has been, he could become the greatest third baseman in Orioles history.
- Put Wild Bill in the Hall of Fame
Wild Bill Hagy Deserves a Statue!
- Ducks in a Row
“I tried tenpin a couple times. I was always afraid my finger’d get stuck in the damn hole.”
After revolution, there’d still be a world series
Crabs are Better Than Lobster
No Smart Cars Here
The friendly rivals next door
Hi Ho—Wait, When Was the Last Race?
Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, I Took You In The Third
On The Flip Side
Enter the Eight-sided non-octagon!
Opening Day and the possibility of the Penwigeon
Putting the Buck in a Birds Fan’s Bucket List
Birds Before Nerds
One Wheel, Two Continents, a few broken ribs
Glock Und Spiel
Talk Derby to Me
Bar Raised for O’s
- A Very Special Spitballin’
That’s So Ravens
How to Watch
Super Bowl, Baby!
BMore to F-Bomb Brady, Pats
The Game Changer
- Magic Man
David London brings wonder to Theatre Project
- Art Modell
The hero-villain of the NFL
The Real World
Cam on the Street
- Eve of Destruction
Options to ring in the new year with the tykes, the bros, or the drunks
Holiday Wish List
In Ray We Trust
- The Man Behind the Masks
George Goebel has been in the costuming business for over half a century
Ravens Win a Turkey
The Sporting Life
Cold Beer Here
- Yankee Hate Machine
I took a moment to savor the feeling in my hands, still stinging from the hammer-handed kid in the row in front of me who punctuated every great Orioles play with a high-five with the power of Thor.
- Hate On The Field
Most pro athletes would never think to spit out hate terms “Nigger,” “Kike,” or “Spic,” but somehow “Faggot” gets a pass.
- Modell, Citizen
When we line up at the gates of Camden Yards or Ravens Stadium, we aren’t rooting for a business; we’re rooting for memories.
- Orioles: In it to win it!
The Orioles came out on Sunday and positively pummeled the Yankees
- Suck it, Blow sox!
For the last decade, the modern cradle of civilization, fair Baltimore, has faced a threat: Red Sox Nation.
- “What The Fuck!”
When it comes to putting the ball in play, the Orioles strike out more than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on J-Date.
- Legacy of Pain
I worried I was introducing my son to a lifetime of hopeless misery with sporadic moments where the O’s rise to the level of disappointment.
- The Weird One
How an oddball recluse came to co-host one of the most popular radio shows in Baltimore
- Dennis Haney, The Wizard of Rosedale
One of the country’s most respected magicians quietly holds court in a Baltimore County industrial park.
Archived Stories by Jim Meyer
View older articles written by Jim Meyer.